Piano Jokes What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor. What's the definition of a quarter tone? A harpist tuning unison strings. How long does a harp stay in tune? About 20 minutes, or until someone opens a door. Harp Jokes Why are harps like elderly parents? Both are unforgiving and hard to get into and out of cars. Lute players spend half their time tuning their instrument and the other Theīartender said to himself, "Jeez! I think this guy's IQ must be aboutĢ9!" He took him over to a man sitting at a little table back in theĬorner and said, "You might enjoy talking with this guy for a while."Īfter the bartender left, the man at the table said, "So do you play Then a third man stumbled in and talked to the bartender for a while. With the other guys and had a hell of a time.
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So he sat him down in front of the big-screen TV and he watched football Nuclear physics and existential philosophy and had a great time.Ī second man walked in and soon the bartender has guessed about a 90 IQ for You should meet this guy over here." So they talked for a while about One night a man walked in and talked to himīriefly and the bartender said, "Wow! You must have an IQ of about 140! There was a certain bartender who was quite famous for being able toĪccurately guess people's IQs. `BOOM Boom Boom Boom'-well there are some guys up top singing a terrific song Joe duly took his break back in the pit that evening, Moe asked how it Watch the matinee performance from the front of house. After aĬouple of weeks, they agreed each to take an afternoon off in turn to go and Two bass players were engaged for a run of Carmen. The first violist turns around and shouts, "You bloody idiot! It's The first bassist pulls all his strings, says, "Our tuning is correct: The bass player replied with some surprise, "Why? Isn't it the sameĪt a rehearsal, the conductor stops and shouts to the bass section: The conductor asked, "Would you like a moment to tune?" He picked up his instrument and bow, and turned his attention to theĬonductor. The local choral society's annual performance of Handel's Messiah. (1.4.5.5.1)Ī double bass player arrived a few minutes late for the first rehearsal of How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? 1.5.1.
How do you make a double bass sound in tune? Chop it up and make it into a xylophone. How many string bass players does it take to change a light bulb? None the piano player can do that with his left hand. How do you make a cello sound beautiful? Sell it and buy a violin.ĭid you hear about the bassist who was so out of tune his section noticed?
'Cello Jokes How do you get a 'cellist to play fortissimo? Write "pp, espressivo" "You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down "There's not much room on thisĪnother violinist, standing by, offered the following helpful hint:
Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan His wife replies, "I'd rather have you play me like a harmonica!" Why should you never try to drive a roof nail with a violin? You might bend the nail.Ī violinist says to his wife, "Oh, baby, I can play you just like my Why do violinists put a cloth between their chin and their instrument? What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin? No-one minds if you spill beer on a fiddle. Why don't viola players suffer from piles (hæmorrhoids)? Because all the assholes are in the first violin section. Why is a violinist like a SCUD missile? Both are offensive and inaccurate. String players' motto: "It's better to be sharp than out of How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb? None. How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog? The dog knows when to stop scratching. Why are viola jokes so short? So violinists can understand them. What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle? A fiddle is fun to listen to. The violin just looks smaller because the Strings Violin Jokes What's the difference between a violin and a viola? There is no difference. If you have ever told,Įmailed, or otherwise communicated to me a music joke, thank you. No longer remember which jokes I heard from whom. These jokes are a continually-growing collection, and unfortunately, I can Instrument Jokes Instrument Jokes Strings
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